Sundays with Grey

Sunday, the day of rest. The day we all allow ourselves to let the stress drop, set aside the phone, and the world comes to a peaceful halt. It’s the day when if possible, we spend with the people we hold dear.  The to-do list is pushed back in our minds and we focus on giving ourselves the gift of relaxation.

I wake with him at my side every Sunday. With one leg tucked up tight, his arm hugging the pillow. There is something about starting the day with the one you love, it’s the most comforting thing in the world. The thought of actually climbing out of bed is quickly pushed aside as I curl my body around his, for the moment is surreal.  The warmth of his skin has a way of fading all worries behind me.  I want nothing more than to feel him, to press my body close to his, and embrace the moment.

I have a tendency to rush thru life, to have my little boxes aligned just so in my head, waiting for that satisfying check mark. I am constantly looking at what still needs to be done, and coming up with a strategic plan. I live for organized lists, cupboards, clean laundry, and the sound of the dishwasher in the evening stating that chores have been done. I am constantly looking at my weaknesses and figuring out a way to become stronger, not allowing the justification of where I lack. I over analyze conversations, have every project mapped to the minute, and think too much of things that do not deserve the attention. I rush through my responsibilities with the hopes that by the time I climb into bed, I have allowed myself to breathe. That I have felt some satisfaction from what was accomplished instead of eying what was left behind.

And then, Sunday comes, this one day where I let the strategies go. I think not of my perfectly squared boxes waiting to be marked, but of how I can possibly prolong this day. For this day, is exhilarating.

I grasp the beauty of indecisiveness for a brief moment. The freedom of not really being able to make up my mind on what I want to do, to eat, to watch, for it holds no meaning.  It’s simply to be with him that I want; the only thing that I can confirm with true clarity.

And so, I allow myself to be content.  And I feel as if I have gone from surviving, to experiencing.

This is what I have been waiting for; experiencing the peaceful halt of the chaos that surrounds us with the one that compliments me entirely.